Done!

Slept in this morning and nearly failed! Dragged self out for a quick mile and a bit and avoided being hit by a bus which was nice.

I’m currently at a masquerade ball (as you do) so did my longer smug post yesterday if you want to read my totals etc.

Congratulations to everyone who finished, in particular my mother who as a Janathon noob has surprised even herself I think. See you all in June!

This is the end (nearly)

One day to go and assuming I wake up early enough to get a few miles in before the nursery run then I’ll have completed my first Janathon at my 4th attempt.

I’m very busy tomorrow so this is my smug “I’ve done it” post, lets hope I don’t get run over by a bus before I get to log my last run.

Too many times I’ve approached Janathon unfit, putting off any sort of exercise knowing I’d be making a fresh start on the first of Jan. Continuing to smoke and stuff crap food down my gullet throughout December safe in the knowledge that my amazing will power and love of blogging would see me through a gloriously healthy 31 days.

I lasted 30 days in 2011 although that was somewhat tempered by plantar fasciitis meaning I couldn’t do any running after the first week.
2012 was a bit of a washout though to be fair I was the father of a 3 month old
2013’s last blog post on the 20th is a sorry tale of a few token pushups, I’d given myself shin splints two days previous with my over exuberance.

The main issue each time has been that my participation in Janathon has actually hindered my efforts to get fit/run a marathon/walk without discomfort.

This isn’t the fault of Janathon, it’s a great idea and when done correctly the perfect start to your year however it should come with a single piece of advice;

Don’t push yourself too hard. If you’re not used to running daily then don’t. Build up slowly and fulfil your quota with low impact exercise.

I’ve done that this time, I’ve limited my running (17 runs assuming I get out tomorrow) and that’s allowed me to be more consistent with my other activities. It’s been a varied Janathon for me and it’s been an eye opener too. Highlights include;

Planking with a child on my back1503224_10152114838430560_1132905643_n
Planking in a rudolf onesie
Discovering Parkrun, and loving it!
Beginning heart monitor training – and finding it suitably geeky enough to keep me interested long term
Not being a new years noob at the gym!
Finding I’m incapable of vegetarianism

Mostly though I’ve enjoyed it, and I’ve slipped into a nice routine that I’m hoping to carry on for a while longer, Gym Monday to Thursday before work, Badminton Tuesday and Thursday, Football Wednesday and Friday, Parkrun Saturday and recovery run Sunday. I need to slip another run in there somewhere (intervals) but there are only so many days in the week!

I am looking forward to an enforced rest day on Saturday though, planning to seep through Parkrun this once!

New years noobs

Phrase coined by Cathy Janathon White in response to one of my earlier blogs to describe the shiny, new gear, new year’s resolutioners cluttering gyms throughout January and winding us regulars up with their fuckwittery.

There was one today, actually I’d seen him a few weeks ago, also on a wednesday which isn’t normally a day I go to the gym so he might well be a regular. I suspect not though because if he were he’d be injured more often than not given he seemed intent on breaking his own back.

I watched him this morning (via the mirror as you do (you know you do it too!)) perch on the very edge of the chest press machine, arch his back so his shoulders were the only part of him in contact with the back rest and then gurn away in complete agony as he mercifully did very few reps.

I’m not a natural artist but I’ve tried to depict his injury enticing form here;

gym nob 1

He then proceeded to arch his back the opposite way while completely misusing the seated row before doing something I’d seen the other week.

Over he goes to the lat pull down machine, that’s the one where you pull the bar down with your arms making the movement (though it also works your lats, obviously) you should use it a bit like this;


(my drawing’s getting a bit better eh?)

I know what’s about to happen so while I recover from my tricep, bicep, crunches triple-hard-bastard-damn-you-lurgee-why-can’t-I-breathe? set I watch with interest as he approaches, grabs the bar and then for 2 full minutes (I had a timed 60 second rest and then was near the end of a tricep drop set) proceeded to stand and do what can only be described as a golfers wiggle, you know the one, when they’re standing over the ball trying to get their stance right.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, shake, shake, shake and then, boom, right into it. In one smooth movement he’s sat down, nearly pulling his arms out of their sockets and proceeded to do what can only be described as a rowing motion, his back contorting in strange shapes, first concave then convex, arms remaining virtually motionless, full 90 degrees of motion from the hips, he’s effectively rowing up hill!

I admit I spat a small guffaw and then went back to my workout and my thoughts of if I should go and correct his form.

Worst was to come mind you. I left the gym area at roughly the same time and so got to witness him not have a shower and instead just slip into his suit, presumably off to sit, putrid, in an office somewhere. Some poor sod has to sit next to this man, smelling his musky gym smell and listening to him complain about his back. Hopefully for him it’s just a fad.

Back to the point. We’re all new years noobs in a way, well those of us who normally give ourselves rest days when it’s not January. We push ourselves for 31 days straight (or in my usual case, for as many days as it takes to get injured) each Janathon and sometimes I do wonder if it’s a bit dangerous/daft. I guess it can be if you go too hard but treat it sensibly and it’s a great kick-start to your year.

Hopefully no-one’s succumbed to injury from the additional exertions this year and hopefully some of you (and me) will carry it on, albeit at a less frenetic pace throughout the year. Hopefully you’ve all remembered to shower too!

28 days later


Apt really given how zombified I felt this morning.

Partially because I’m still not over this man-flu but also because Grace (our 2 year old) had decided to take off her pull up nappy thing and piss the bed. So she ended up with us and managed to wake me a total of 6 times in the space of half an hour before I decided that being kicked in the neck was too much for me and retreated to the spare room.

Was a bit late for the gym, a statement that belies the herculean effort required to get there at all and so had to squeeze more out of the time I had. This meant no rests between sets, just more sets. So leg presses were followed by shoulder presses and then leg presses immediately after and chest presses were followed by crunches and so on. While I was only in the gym for 30 minutes today I think I managed to do as much as normal, only it hurt more.

Badminton on Tuesdays too. Once more I was terrible but it’s another hour of decent cardio.

Just a few more days to go, I get a rest day on the 1st Feb!

Death by Fartlek

…would be a pretty horrible way to go I imagine, all those lamp posts rushing past (or not, agonisingly), the walk of inevitable doom, sprinting until your ankles hurt and your heart explodes.

Being a cheery sort while struck down with man-flu I did think the worst when I decided to do Fartleks tonight but once decided I am doing something I do it.

Except of course going to the gym this morning. I was far too full of snot and much too groggy at 6am so I settled on getting to work a bit earlier than normal and moaning to my colleagues about my afflictions.

This meant of course that a run was needed. I had done my slow recovery run yesterday and frankly the thought of doing some walking appealed to me hence the Fartlek.

Now, if you don’t know what Fartlek is then I will tell you, it’s effectively no-brainer intervals. Organic speed work whereby you just intersperse a few sprints (and walks if you over do it) into your run. Since I don’t have access to a running track it seems the best way to get some speed work under my belt. The beauty of Fartlek is you don’t need to over think it so naturally I spent ages beforehand reading about it and planning my route and spent time during it counting lamp posts, wondering if there should have been one there where that side street was, thinking about how to begin breathing again, worrying about timing, how my heart rate was, if I’d accidentally pressed stop on the Garmin and not “lap” and finally, why I was trying to do lap splits as the stats afterwards would look like a dogs dinner anyway.

I managed to be out for 23 minutes and covered 2.5 miles all in all, I felt terrible when I got in but I think an early night might finally rid me of this horrible lurgee once and for all!

This indecision’s bugging me

If you don’t want me set me free.

Don’t worry, I’m not having love life issues. I’m referring, of course, to my on/off off/on cold.

As you will all know (being avid readers of this daily drivel) I cured the common cold on Wednesday, incurred it’s wrath on Thursday, shook it off again on Friday and ran a PB at Parkrun yesterday (though admittedly I was suppressing the urge to vomit for much of the last half mile).

Had a non-stop day yesterday and rolled in (pun obviously intended such is my rapier like wit) at around midnight following the roller derby after party.

No hangover this morning was a welcome touch but was somewhat overshadowed by the fact that I had, at some point in the night, gotten an acid marinated cactus lodged in my throat. The luminous snot and greeny/grey throat mucus were an unexpected bonus as was the crippling lethargy.

At this point readers are split, chances are if you’ve got a womb you’re thinking “man-flu” and not feeling terribly sympathetic. Well, to highlight the seriousness of my plight let me explain that Mrs Webb appears not only afflicted with the same but has not left the house (nor ventured far from the sofa she slept on for 3 hours in the afternoon) while I, brave, and strong and manly have taken the child to waitrose (ok, I couldn’t face ASDA but that’s not illness related) cooked twice and even managed a run.

A run is not something I really wanted to do today. In fact, after fearing I might faint in the supermarket I did consider that my health might just be more important than Janathon. Fortunately for us all I managed to man up and convince myself that as I’d be wearing a heart rate monitor I would probably be ok, or at least if I weren’t I would have advance notice of my demise.

It was a recovery run day anyway and funnily enough it wasn’t difficult to keep the pace slow and my heart rate down.

Managed 2.7 miles in a painfully pedestrian 26 minutes before deciding that my recovery was probably best carried out indoors.

p.s. Should I Stay or Should I Go was on the radio after Parkrun and such was my buoyant mood that I could apparently be heard approaching the house with the windows down, singing away (badly)

I’ll be brief

Just a quickie blog today on the basis that I’ve had no time at all to sit down yet and am out for a rare couple of beers with the wife in a moment.

Parkran this morning and posted another PB (not all that hard when you’ve only done 2 parkruns) 22:25 which smashes a target I set myself to do a sub 23 min run by the summer. My little reward to myself is a new target of sub 20 minutes. Have some of that, legs!

Have been non stop since getting back in from Parkrun as it was the wife’s first roller derby bout today. She was awesome, Grace was tiring. We also fitted in a mate’s 40th birthday party and are now off out (as mentioned above) to the roller derby after party. I don’t even skate so conversation had better come round to running at some stage!